I can't do that!!!
If you have worked in leadership or with leadership at all,
those words are probably very familiar to you, I hear those words all the time
and in fact, those words have been on my tongue a time or two over the years.
Since 2003, I have had 11 surgeries, my doctor had three maybe four more
planned that I have so far said no to having. I have been totally disabled and
unable to work full time since 2009, so those words, have been a temptation for
me for years now. Since 2003, I have lost a lot of who I am and what I was, due
to the pain and limitations of my disabilities. Saying I can't do that, almost
became an everyday occurrence for me, when dealing with friends, family and the
church. However, those four words became a prison for me, only allowing me to
see the limitations and the walls, but not seeing the opportunities to become
something new, something different, something that allowed me to say yeah, I
can do that!!! It took time, for me to realize that even with my limitations
and my weakness; I was still able to help. It's sometimes embarrassing to not
be able to do the "manly" things anymore, but to tell you the truth,
I have found more than not, I am one of only a few that help anyway and my help
even in its limited form, is very welcomed and appreciated by those who receive
it!!! It was a hard road to travel, to get to this place, to see myself, my
limitations, my disabilities, my weakness, as something of value, to see myself
as someone of value!!! There is a road, its dark and lonely, its filled with
anger and self-pity, it finds no good in pain, no good in suffering, it says
only “I can’t do that”, it’s a road that I want to travel every day!!! I want
to tell my wife “I can’t do that”, I want to tell my kids’ “I can’t do that”, I
want to tell my friends “I can’t do that”, I want to tell my Church “I can’t do
that”, I want to tell God “I can’t do this anymore!!!”, but I am afraid of the
dark, maybe you didn’t know that about me!!! Yes, I admit it, I am afraid of
the dark and have been all my life and that’s why I just can’t follow that
road, the road that is dark and lonely!!! I hate the dark, but even more, I
hate to be a lone!!! So why tell you all this, why open up to all of you like
this, well, I figure that if I am always wanting to say “I can’t do that”, then
maybe a few of you are wanting to say it as well. Maybe hearing me say “I can
do that”, even if it’s just helping pass nails along, or hold a board, or run
to the car or the tool box, hearing “I can do that”, might spark that light
inside you, that burns inside of me, that yearns to help in any way I can, that
yearns to be with friends and family, if only to work together!!! Maybe, you
are finding yourself saying “I can’t do that” and needed someone to tell you
that you can do it, or at the very least something else that’s just as
important. I will end with this: A great friend gave me more encouragement then
he could have ever known this weekend, he came to me and said “Scott, I know
you think that you didn’t do much today, but you really did and I really
appreciate it”. I was feeling exactly that way and those words didn’t have to
be said, but they came from his heart and they touched mine more then he will
ever know. So what do you say, let’s go out there this week and “Make the
Change”!!!
