I can't do that!!!

I can't do that!!!

If you have worked in leadership or with leadership at all, those words are probably very familiar to you, I hear those words all the time and in fact, those words have been on my tongue a time or two over the years. Since 2003, I have had 11 surgeries, my doctor had three maybe four more planned that I have so far said no to having. I have been totally disabled and unable to work full time since 2009, so those words, have been a temptation for me for years now. Since 2003, I have lost a lot of who I am and what I was, due to the pain and limitations of my disabilities. Saying I can't do that, almost became an everyday occurrence for me, when dealing with friends, family and the church. However, those four words became a prison for me, only allowing me to see the limitations and the walls, but not seeing the opportunities to become something new, something different, something that allowed me to say yeah, I can do that!!! It took time, for me to realize that even with my limitations and my weakness; I was still able to help. It's sometimes embarrassing to not be able to do the "manly" things anymore, but to tell you the truth, I have found more than not, I am one of only a few that help anyway and my help even in its limited form, is very welcomed and appreciated by those who receive it!!! It was a hard road to travel, to get to this place, to see myself, my limitations, my disabilities, my weakness, as something of value, to see myself as someone of value!!! There is a road, its dark and lonely, its filled with anger and self-pity, it finds no good in pain, no good in suffering, it says only “I can’t do that”, it’s a road that I want to travel every day!!! I want to tell my wife “I can’t do that”, I want to tell my kids’ “I can’t do that”, I want to tell my friends “I can’t do that”, I want to tell my Church “I can’t do that”, I want to tell God “I can’t do this anymore!!!”, but I am afraid of the dark, maybe you didn’t know that about me!!! Yes, I admit it, I am afraid of the dark and have been all my life and that’s why I just can’t follow that road, the road that is dark and lonely!!! I hate the dark, but even more, I hate to be a lone!!! So why tell you all this, why open up to all of you like this, well, I figure that if I am always wanting to say “I can’t do that”, then maybe a few of you are wanting to say it as well. Maybe hearing me say “I can do that”, even if it’s just helping pass nails along, or hold a board, or run to the car or the tool box, hearing “I can do that”, might spark that light inside you, that burns inside of me, that yearns to help in any way I can, that yearns to be with friends and family, if only to work together!!! Maybe, you are finding yourself saying “I can’t do that” and needed someone to tell you that you can do it, or at the very least something else that’s just as important. I will end with this: A great friend gave me more encouragement then he could have ever known this weekend, he came to me and said “Scott, I know you think that you didn’t do much today, but you really did and I really appreciate it”. I was feeling exactly that way and those words didn’t have to be said, but they came from his heart and they touched mine more then he will ever know. So what do you say, let’s go out there this week and “Make the Change”!!!